"Lieutenant Hornblower" by C.S. Forester

"Mom, this book is so lame. I can't even tell you what's happening in it," says Arwen.

"What page are you on?" says I.

"Page 28, and I don't even know what it's about," replies she. "It's one of those books where hardly anyone ever speaks. The author is mostly just describing things. And, when people do speak pretty much all they ever say is, "Aye, aye, matey!" in her best pirate voice, "and things like that. I hate books where no one ever speaks."

((Hmmm...my shy, but chatty when you get to know her, daughter hates books where the people don't speak much and the author waxes poetic over the descriptions of everything he can think to describe. That would explain her extreme dislike of Sir Walter Scott.))

"Try just one more chapter," says I. "Then, if you still can't stand it, you may put it aside."

Case closed. We shall move on to "The Scarlett Pimpernel"; perhaps that will not be so lame.